“I don’t know how you do it.”


     Well first of all – I don’t have a choice. I guess I could just be a reject mom and neglect my kids or run away, but if I don’t choose that route the only other option is to “do it”. I do it because I have to, because I don’t have a choice, because this is my life – and these are my precious babies. I do it because I love them, and I love my son with autism even when he is covered with poop, and I do it because I am the mom and it is my job. But my son is definitely lucky he is so cute because if not then I might not put up with all the adventures in poop. (ok I promise I won’t talk about poop anymore in this post)

     But aside from that, I think what really helps me “do it” is my positive attitude. And also my husband’s positive attitude and his calm in crisis which I am not so good at. You know that is actually one of the positive aspects of my husband’s ADD – that he is calm in crisis situations.  I have a feeling there will be a few posts about the negatives of having an ADD spouse (sorry honey) but at least I have admitted there are positives too. 😉

     So I tried the negative, poor me, life sucks attitude. It didn’t get me very far.

     After my son was diagnosed there was a definite mourning period. I mourned the loss of the son I thought I had, the one who was going to grow up to play major league baseball, the one who was going to talk before the age of 5, the one who was going to understand what danger is and avoid dangerous situations. And I was sad for about a year. I was embarrassed of him at times, I thought “Why me? Why us?”, I cried when I thought about how detached he was and how I couldn’t communicate with him. And I think it is healthy and normal to have that mourning period. Just like mourning a death, mourning the loss of my “typical son” went through the same phases:

  • Shock  (Autism? Really? But the pediatrician said he was fine, “a walker not a talker”)
  • Denial (He is very high functioning and should be able to be in a regular kindergarten class by the time he is 5)
  • Bargaining (Maybe it’s his diet. If we just change his diet then he won’t have autism)
  • Guilt  (If only I didn’t eat McDonald’s or lobster when I was pregnant. I should have known more about the vaccines before I let them inject him. I was under too much stress when I was pregnant and that is why he has autism. I had too many ultrasounds.  — I could go on all day talking about the guilt I felt.)
  • Anger (Why do I have to have a kid with autism? Why can’t I have the typical little boy that I thought I had!?! It is so hard – I can’t handle this!! He is so difficult – MAKE IT ALL STOP!!!!)
  • Depression (<sob>My son can’t communicate with me and pushes me away. <sob> I feel so alone, no one understands what I am going through. I am a bad mom, I should be able to do better. <sob>)
  • Resignation (The diet isn’t going to help. He is just different and he always will be different. We are not a typical family – we will not blend in, we are not “normal” and we will be stared at when we are in public.)
  • Acceptance and Hope (My boy is awesome just the way he is! He is so sweet and smart. He is such a joy. I am so blessed with my two beautiful and healthy babies. He is making great progress and can maybe even lead an independent life one day.)

     So that took about a year, and once I was at the acceptance and hope part I realized that a positive attitude makes such a big difference. Like the poster said in my 3rd grade classroom “Attitude is Everything”.

     I could go on and on about positive thinking and how our thoughts determine our reality – and I probably will – but that is for another post. For now, I leave you with a song 🙂

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Are you a polluter?


When I asked someone if they know where I take the batteries to be recycled she looked puzzled and said “I always just throw mine away.”

So I realized it isn’t common knowledge that batteries shouldn’t be thrown away, and that they are contributing to the pollution in our food and our water. This is stuff I learned in my endless hours of autism research, and I just assumed everyone knew. So in case you don’t here is the info:

Batteries contain all kinds of toxic ingredients including mercury, cadmium, nickel, and lithium.

While some manufacturers have reduced or eliminated their use of mercury in consumer and commercial or industrial products, there are still many existing items in the marketplace that contain mercury.  Click here to find out which common household items contain mercury: http://www.epa.gov/hg/consumer.htm 

And so what’s the problem with throwing away a little mercury?

Mercury, an element naturally found in the environment, is also a very serious toxin. Mercury can harm the brain, heart, kidneys, lungs, and immune system of people of all ages. It has been demonstrated that high levels of methylmercury in the bloodstream of unborn babies and young children may harm the nervous system and delay cognitive development.

The mercury goes into the environment and then into the food chain. How?  The mercury enters the environment and it eventually settles in the water. While in the water, microorganisms transform mercury to methylmercury, a highly toxic form of mercury that can build up into high concentration in an organism. Every time the fish eat the microorganisms, they build up their methylmercury concentrations. Every organism that eats these fish is also building up their methylmercury levels.  So the cycle goes on and on, and essentially you are eating the batteries – see how I did that there?

Rechargeable Batteries
Rechargeable batteries are full of all types of toxic heavy metals, etc.  Luckily, the battery industry sponsors the operations of the Rechargeable Battery Recycling Center (RBRC), which facilitates the collection of used rechargeable batteries collected in an industry-wide “take back” program for recycling.

And so you ask: Where do I recycle my batteries?

Call2Recycle® is the only free rechargeable battery and cell phone collection program in North America. Since 1994, Call2Recycle has diverted over 60 million pounds of rechargeable batteries from the solid waste stream and established a network of 30,000 collection sites. Advancing green business practices and environmental sustainability, Call2Recycle is the most active voice promoting eco-safe reclamation and recycling of rechargeable batteries and cell phones. Call2Recycle is operated by RBRC, a non-profit organization. http://environment.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=environment&cdn=newsissues&tm=123&gps=416_180_630_493&f=10&su=p1037.1.155.ip_p504.1.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.rbrc.org/

Recycling of non rechargeable batteries is becoming more commonplace, but it can still be a challenge to find a local drop-off location.  If you type your zipcode into the drop off center locator on this website you can  find the nearest spot to recycle your alkaline batteries: http://earth911.com/recycling/hazardous/single-use-batteries/

Older Batteries Should Always Be Recycled
Old batteries that were made before 1997—when Congress mandated a widespread mercury phase-out in batteries of all types—should most surely be recycled and not discarded with the trash, as they may contain as much as 10 times the mercury of newer versions.

Every little bit helps. I hope you will do your part in trying to clean up our environment and preventing further pollution 🙂

“Do you think his autism was caused by the shots?”


Short answer: Maybe.

Long answer: I think my son was born with autism. I even think he had autism while in the womb. I think autism is a part of who my son is, and I think he has always had autism. In the womb he didn’t kick very much. He moved so little that twice I checked myself into the hospital because I was afraid he had died in there since he never moved.  Also, anytime I would rub my pregnant belly and try to picture who my son was and what type of person he would be I would always picture him at a table with a tutor. I envisioned that he would need extra help, that he would have trouble learning. And at the same time I knew he would be fine, and that we was smart – just different. I don’t know why I had these thoughts – and now I see that I must be psychic.  I will add that to my to do list: work on harnessing my psychic power. 🙂

He was always different. If I had known the early signs of autism it would have been obvious that he had autism. But I had no clue what autism was. And so he wasn’t diagnosed until he was 2 1/2 even though I always knew he was different. So I don’t think my son was born typical then changed, or got a shot and suddenly had autism. I have heard many first hand accounts of that happening though, so I believe it is true and it happens. They basically break it into two categories – early onset and late onset autism.

“There are two types of autism—an early-onset type and a later-onset regressive type—retrospective studies have suggested. When infants have the former, their level of complex babbling, word production, and declarative pointing are lower than those produced by typically developing children at a year or so of age. When infants have the latter, they behave essentially like normally developing infants during the first year or so of life, but by age 2, use significantly fewer words, respond to their names much less often, and look at people much less often than typically developing children do (Psychiatric News, October 7, 2005).” http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/42/15/28.1.full

So is it the shots or not?

Well I think you should definitely be educated on what is in the shots. And be aware of how many toxins are in there, the fact that formaldehyde is in the shots. On the CDC website you can read about the ingredients: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/B/excipient-table-1.pdf

and on another government website you can read about how formaldehyde is classified as a known carcinogen: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/formaldehyde

So yeah, I would then think that most rational folk would ask “So why are you injecting us with it?”

So is it the shots or not?

I think it has something to do with toxins in our environment.  And those toxins enter our bodies through the water we drink , the air we breathe, the food we eat, the shots we get, the paint, the plastic, the aluminum, the mercury, etc. I believe what the scientists have found in their research.  I think genetics comes into play because we don’t all react the same to these toxins.  Kind of  like how smoking causes cancer but some people can smoke their whole lives and never get cancer.

Here are some notes I took at an autism conference about this:

“It is believed that autism is 90% genetic. These genes aren’t all bad – sometimes they create genius!

Autism seems to be caused by a group of genes all acting together to create autism. These genes are called the “Broader Autistic Phenotype”. Evidence of this can be found in family members of the affected child. They tend to have ADHD, social deficits, and depression. So autism is the collaboration of all of these genes working together to create autism.”

So basically I think, and science seems to be proving, that autism is genetic and those with autism have a predisposition to being affected by these toxins. So in a roundabout way – yes, the shots can be causing autism. Just as much as the water, and the food, and the plastics, and the bug spray, and the fertilizers, etc.

Do I vaccinate my kids? Not anymore. They’ve already had all of the shots that I was required to have. They both have the “religious exemption” and I know what all the nay sayers say — but look at the vaccine requirements when we were kids vs today– why do they have to get so many compared to when we were kids? Requiring two chickenpox (varicella) shots in order to start kindergarten is where I drew the line.

Comparison of CDC Mandatory Vaccine Schedule
Children birth to six years (recommended month)

USA 1983

DTP (2)
OPV (2)
DTP (4)
OPV (4)
DTP (6)
MMR (15)
DTP (18)
OPV (18)
DTP (48)
OPV (48)

USA 2008

Influenza
(prenatal)
Hep B (birth)
Hep B (1)
DTaP (2)
Hib (2)
IPV (2)
PCV (2)
Rotavrus (2)
Hep B (4)
DTaP (4)
Hib (4)
IPV (4)
PCV (4)
Rotavirus (4)
Hep B (6)
DTaP (6)
Hib (6)
IPV (6)
PCV (6)
Influenza (6)
Rotavirus (6)
Hib (12)
MMR (12)
Varicella (12)
PCV (12)
Hep A (12)
DTaP (15)
Hep A (18)
Influenza (18)
Influenza (30)
Influenza (42)
MMR (48)
DTaP (48)
IPV (48)
Influenza (54)
Influenza (66)

Too many, too soon?

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